There are many things that parents should and shouldn’t do when they’re going through a divorce. One thing that’s imperative is that they think carefully about how their decisions and actions will affect the children.
For some parents, communication is one of the biggest problems in the split. There are a few things to consider when you’re in this position:
1. Never make the children relay messages
No child should have to relay messages between parents. The messages may become distorted in the process, but there’s a bigger issue. If the message is construed as negative by either parent, the child might be subjected to a harsh reaction. This can be hard for the child to deal with.
Instead of doing this, communicate directly with your ex. This can be done in writing if direct conversations lead to conflicts. In some cases, monitored communication is the answer since all parties will be on their best behavior and issues can be addressed by appropriate authorities.
2. Never ask the children to spy on their other parent
Children shouldn’t ever be asked to report to one parent what’s going on at their other parent’s home. This sets up a sense of conflict for the children. They may not want to tell on one parent but may feel like they’re letting the other parent down. It’s important to remember that what happens at your ex’s house isn’t your concern unless it impacts the health or safety or the children.
Taking the time to include conflict resolution and communication guidelines in your parenting plan may be beneficial. These can work to ensure that the best interests of the children are always at the heart of your parenting relationship.
